By: Stacy Svendor
I sat down at a table in the back
of the bar, hoping to drown my sorrows. I had an array of feelings to sort through. I had just
broken up with my quiescent current girlfriend, whom I believed to be bistable. I did not know at the time that my life was
going to change that night, and the resolution would restore my
faith in humanity, and save my soul.
There was
a sudden commotion at the door, and the sudden sound of women’s voices as a batch
of them came in all at once. It was the highlight
of my night when she walked through the door.
My first impression was that she was the wildcard in my plans.
She was a prime candidate to either be a passive
component or to short-circuit my entire evening. She was a real Q-Factor.
She was very
acute. The first thing I noticed
was that she had very complementary angles.
She had a beautiful face.
Plus, there was not an ounce of fat on her. She was beauty in its simplest form.
She created an image in my mind of someone who was
very object oriented. She certainly gained my interest,
and I hoped that she had a kernel of interest in me.
My heart
did a teraflop as she started my way.
As she
arrived to stand perpendicular to my table, I noticed that she
seemed a bit lost. She looked
almost as if she had suddenly found herself at an improper function.
“Chip?” I
offered.
“No thank
you,” she replied. “I was wondering if
I could ascii you
something.”
“Yes?”
“Well,”
she continued, “Are
you transversal?”
It was
the first time that I had heard my orientation defined that way,
but I agreed that yes, I was.
“I was
hoping,” she said, demurely. “I noticed
you as I came in the door. I felt an
immediate connection. My name is Meg.”
I gave
her my name and shook her hand. There
was a strong electrical current that flowed between us as we
touched.
“Nice to
meet you, Dot,” she replied. “I was
wondering if I could join you?”
That struck a chord with me. I hoped that it was more than just simple
interest on her part. I watched for dilation of her fiber optics to
indicate her attraction to me. We hit
it off right away. I felt that we really
clicked. I liked her amplitude.
We talked
for a while, exchanging our bios. I learned that she was right out of college,
where she had majored in ergonomics.
I wanted to get her measure of central tendency to gauge
her interest.
I really
was not interested in being an experiment. But, as the exchange continued, I
realized that she was looking for a transformation in her life. She was really ready for a switch. I made a mental scientific notation of
that.
Our
attraction was basic. I knew that
if I could just find the right angle… use the right combination of
skill and charisma, I would be able to get her horizontal later that
evening.
She told me
about her entire life. She said that she used to be into bottoming, but was
not that inverse anymore. She
also mentioned that she had left her husband recently. That she had sent him a scattergram to tell him it was over.
“It is a commutative property state,”
she said, “so we both get out of it a similar set of belongings. Basically, we will shareware. That is the best solution.”
“You are
one smart cookie,” I told her.
“To
some degree, I am sure that he expected it,” she said as she continued
to tell me about her separation.
“When I was a superheterodyne
receiver, I never really enjoyed a direct cable connection. And he could never get his log in to
the correct serial port. He kept
mixing up the input and output devices. He was such a drag, that I just had to
drop him.”
“I
was hoping someone would put a hex on his joystick to cause impedance,”
she continued. “He was a real odd
number, but at least he never gave me a virus.”
As I
listened, I mentally placed default on
him. Obviously he was a direct
variation of an obtuse square peg.
I told her as much, and explained that I had always had a forward
bias against male connecters.
I began to get nervous as I noticed her
looking about. She must have glanced at the windows 2000
times. Then, I realized the source
of her discomfort. A man came through
the door, looked around, and started toward our table.
“That is
my direct x,” she stated worriedly.
“DRAM!” I
exclaimed.
“Don’t cursor,”
she replied.
It was
not necessarily the way of my conventional current flow, but I complied, and struggled find a way to rectifier situation.
I wanted
no interference from the guy and luckily the bartender, sensing that the
man wanted to kilobyte me, ran an intercept course and with precision, moved him out of
range of our perimeter, although I could see him fuming out of my
peripheral visual display.
We continued our conversation. She seemed to evaluate everything I
said. We learned a great deal of information about each other, but that
was just a fraction of the things we would learn together that night.
I told
her that I was not interested in a master/slave relationship. I wanted to be part of an ordered pair. I wanted to opt-in to a reciprocal
relationship, with a mega babe with similar tendencies to my own.
As we talked, I realized that I wanted to be her full access provider. She could really activate my solenoids. This was no common base connection. I knew that we were in for a true digital
convergence.
She was dynamic
and had a sort of sensitivity about her. I had always believed that the formula
for great sex, was frequency. She was starting such a firewall
burning within me, that I wanted to put that theory to the test. I hoped that the fact that her direct x was
still in the corner would not put a damper on the rest of the
night. I did not want there to be any mutually exclusive
events to get in the way of this evening.
I
wanted to continue talking, but I knew it was late, and that the bar would soon
become a closed loop. I decided
to invite her to my sample space.
I was
prepared for a full-scale deflection, but her response to my query
was to call over the server and ask for the check. I quickly paid our
bill with my card, as I was low on cache.
As we
left, I overheard someone say that we made quite a
“Let's
take the hyperlink back to my place,” I suggested.
Once
aboard, I paid the semiconductor for our passes. “You get off at the next junction,” he said, as we pulled away from the main terminal.
Although
it was not a long walk, we took a cab from the station to my house. I gave direction as to the route
to get there and got into the back seat with Meg. We sat quietly during the hard drive.
When we
arrived, I paid the driver the last of my cache, and helped Meg
out of the car.
“Welcome to my domain,” I said, as
I opened the door for her.
I wanted
to be a good host. But I had nothing but hot java and pi
to offer her. That did not seem to
matter, though, as she had other ideas.
By this
time, I was definitely ready for some cooperative multi-tasking, and
could not wait to get into her box and whisker plot. We were on the same wavelength.
I sat down on the couch, and without any hesitation at all, she sat down in my laptop. We sat like that and kissed for a while, as I trailed my hands up her leg toward her service node, looking for the line of best fit. Before long, she stood. I tried to hide my disappointment, but I was not to feel that way for long.
As my
eyes browsed over her body, I thought I would choke as she let
her hair down, and I watched it cascade down her back and coil
about her shoulders. It was quite a display.
She then
began to strip. I watched, as she
became fully undressed. Her bipolar
coordinates were not a bit floppy, I noticed.
She then
took my hand and pulled until I was standing in front of her. *Don’t backup* I thought, *You’ll fall over the table.*
As we
stood there, she began to remove my clothes.
Her hand trailed across the slope of the skin of my
shoulder. She seemed almost intrigued at
the rotation that removing my shirt caused.
Once I
was undressed, she looked at the megabits at the top of my cones
and licked her lips.
I began
to converge on her curvilinear functions. I could not wait to put my firmware
into her software. I swear I saw
lights flash behind my eyes as she kissed me. I wanted to give her a mega
ohm that she would never forget.
Since earlier she had mentioned that she had never
done this before, I decided to explain a few things first.
“When I
am alone,” I told her, “I usually use my multivibrator,
but with another operator involved, I prefer the more user
friendly interface of personal interaction.”
Then, I led
her into the bedroom. I wanted to find
all of her hotspots.
I traced her line
of symmetry with my fingers, not neglecting her upper and lower
extremes. We melded together into a sort of daisy chain, as we
fell onto the bed. I was
certainly glad that I had changed the spreadsheets earlier.
I
brushed my lips across her binary systems pausing to nibble the bits. Not megabytes, just small nips. As I centered the concentration of
my mouth on her breasts, I slid my hand down the surface area of her
body.
As I reached the
unijunction, I slipped one digit
into her expansion slot. I did not wish to make an error of
measurement, but there was no resistance
as I dipped into her collector.
I heard
her breath catch suddenly. Concerned, I
paused in my bisection of Pascal’s triangle.
“Ohm, nothing
hertz,” she quickly replied. “I
have a high capacity in my parallel port.”
Just as I
was getting into a steady algorithm, her back arced.
I had
been hoping that she would give some nice vocal feedback, and I was not
disappointed. It was almost as if there
was a direct-coupled amplifier in the room, because her voice
seemed to echo. I swear she hit a new harmonic every time we connected.
She was a very vocal emitter.
I
was also pleased that she ran to multiples.
The first one was over so quickly that I was not ready to stop. But she refreshed quickly. She let out so many ergs and ohms, that
I thought that the resonance frequency would overload her sound
card and throw her into a feedback loop. I was also concerned that the neighbor’s voice
recognition system would discover the origin of the noise and
they would interrupt us before the final outcome. I knew that if that occurred, it could cause
a fatal error.
I wanted to make sure that I used a proper
fraction of the night servicing her primary port. Although she had never been with a woman
before, that did not seem to be a factor for her. There was no inequality to the event. She was a real active component in our interaction. I could not get
enough of her, and she was a very regenerative
receiver.
In fact, we were a very ordered pair. She did not need a prompt. After her recovery,
she needed no instruction
set to setup a reciprocal interface.
I
responded to her voiceless command to roll over. She must have had a command interpreter,
because she knew just watt I wanted.
She began
to copy my actions of before, and even added a few of her own. I wanted to feel her hardware filling
my software. I did not need to
wait long. She used push technology
and I could not stifle my cry.
Time seemed to stretch into infinity as
she continued to input her significant digits into my motherboard. I began to see fractals
behind my eyes, as shockwave after shockwave traveled through my
body.
My touchpad
never became unresponsive that night.
The extension of our pleasure seemed exponential. I learned the fundamental counting
principle that night as I kept track of the multiple times
that we intersected. We had setup
a nice alternating current between us.
Our coupling that night was not just a common collector
connection, although there was a common factor.
“That was definitely not average,” I stated.
“There is a major difference between
a single pole switch and what we did,” She agreed, as she began to setup
another resonating frequency within my body.
We stayed in bed for the rest of the
weekend. By late Sunday night, I was having a constant fight for control of
my emoticons. I wanted to download
all that I was feeling, and upload it into her.
I knew
the probability of her wanting a relationship with me was
probably a null set, but I could not help but hope for it.
We
continued to talk, and I had to struggle to gain control of my feelings
as she described her own.
She
wanted to stay!!!
Over the
next few months, I tried to insulator from the negative feedback of
the population regarding relationships like ours.”
It never seemed
to bother her, though. We have been
together for several years, now. I think
that the greatest common factor between us is trust and admiration. And of course, sex. She loves to make Dot com.
We are
nearly inseparable. Wherever I go, she
goes… and wherever she goes… gigo.