SPEEDING

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to
see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, ready to draw his gun at any minute.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer.

             

The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He
looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, you may return to your car. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Bet you that lying officer told you I was speeding, too; didn't he?

(Don't mess with little old ladies!)

Thanks for the visit; hope you enjoyed this bit of levity as well as the song by Jan and Dean, Little Old Lady From Pasadena.