LIFE'S LITTLE MYSTERIES

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

(you can't see the Braille, but it's there)

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself , is it considered a hostage situation?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

(think about for awhile)

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to? 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? 

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil 
made from? 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take 
him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do you ever wonder why you subscribed to my list in the first place?

Background music: Very appropriately titled I'm a Nut by one of the biggest nuts of all, Roger Miller.

Thanks for dropping in; hope you enjoy my zany sense of humor!

Larry D